“Was there a person whose example showed you how to be in a particular role — partner, parent, leader, friend?”

“Was there someone who broke your heart — romantically, or otherwise — and shaped how you love?”

“Tell me about a friend who was funnier than you, or kinder than you, or braver than you — and what they pulled out of you.”

“Was there a friend or relative whose later-life decline you were close to?”